When
do we usually think of God? When we are at Church or on the street? When we are
in deep distress or great happiness? When we have to make an important
decision? Regardless of what brings our hearts and minds to Him, have we valued
God as we should in our lives? As the Bible tells us and Rev. Lin reminds us every
Sunday that the greatest commandment of the Law is to “…Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,
and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) Surely this is not an easy task
for anyChristian to carry, for I have learned that to love God, the One and
Only, is the hardest of all. Some people
try to apply this by praying and asking God before making their decision in
every single thing they do. Does it mean that in that way they love God
entirely? Or should we just go with the flow, live our lives happily, do “good”
to others, and believe that God is with us? I find myself often thinking and
struggling what the right way is to live in Him, thru Him and for Him alone,
our merciful and gracious Lord.
When
I open my eyes in the morning, I say to God “Good Morning, Lord!” Then, often
times, my eyes close again. While my
mind is still numb, and I am still lying comfortably under my blanket, wishing
to sleep for a little more, which I usually do, I end up getting up later than
I planned. When I regain consciousness, I start to remember things I have to do
that day. I become hurried and anxious if I am not able to fulfill my tasks
that day. But how about prayer?And spending some time with God as the very
first priority to start the day? Do I have to? When this question comes to me,
a couple of times, I found myself bargaining with God, asking God for His mercy
and understanding. Since I am in a rush to work or run some errands, I can pray
while I am brushing my teeth, right? Or when I am waiting for the bus/subway to
come, isn’t it the same? And isn’t that way actually more efficient too? Isn’t
prayer a communication just between your heart/soul and God? Then, does it make
any difference if I pray by kneeling down, or lying on my bed? For Mother
Teresa also said, “You can pray anytime,
anywhere. You can pray at work – work does not have to stop prayer and prayer
does not have to stop work.” And the
Bible says that God loves me unconditionally, so He will always be with me no
matter what is going to happen later that day. Will my prayer effect God’s
will? If I pray seriously, ask God for His blessing that day, doesn’t it just
show that I lack faith? So, would it be better off to just start work
immediately, pray alongside or in between, when something comes up and just pray
for His guidance for that particular thing? Since whenever I spend devotional
time in the morning, I often just ask Him the same thing, with almost the same
words. It feels more like a ritual rather than real communication with God.
Also, as a human being, I will never be able to avoid sinning even though I
always pray for God’s guidance to keep me away from temptation. So, what is the
use of prayer in the morning to start the day then? Asking God for a smooth
life? These questions kept going on. And I believe you could guess which way I
chose that day. Yes, I gave up praying
and just walked out of the house. That day went on pretty smoothly, nothing bad
happened. But then my heart somehow did not feel right. There was no joy or
peace, though I tried to smile. I became frustrated easily and angry at things
that should not matter at all. Then I realized I didn’t walk with God that day,
and had expected God to walk with me instead. I could plan my activities very
carefully with my backup plans all prepared, but life is not as it seems. I
have learned that it is only by giving up our lives to the Lord that we may
gain the true happiness in Him; achieve real success in life.But often we only
ask God to give us what we want and neglect to give Him what He wants. Then, I
understand how important it is to spend time alone with God, in prayer and
reading His word to start the day. It is not to seek a good life according to
our perspectives, but to walk with the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John
14:6). No one knows what will happen an hour from now. But He has showed us
what is good, that we may act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him.
(Micah 6:8) Morning prayer is just like presenting ourselves before the King
for His guidance to lead us in what we should do that what we do may bring
glory to His name. It may take only 15 or 30 minutes for some people, some may
need much longer time to seriously seek His will in us. So, when I read Micah
6:8 again, I realized that all the questions that I brought up earlier, trying
to reason with God about prayer, was very selfish of me. I was being
disrespectful to God.
Often
when I pray, once I say “Father in heaven…”,then I find myself in silence for some time since
I do not know what to say or to ask. I am not someone who is very good with
words, especially in the morning. And I am still struggling to fully trust
Him. But God knows me by name. He
perceives my thoughts from afar. And before a word is on my tongue, He knows it
completely (Psalms 139). Though my prayer only contains silence, God sees what
is deep inside my heart. That moment is the time when God opens my heart, to
guide me, strengthen me with His love “For
I know the plans I have for you, “ declares the Lord “plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon
me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find
me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13) Therefore,
there is no excuse for me to not spend time to read the Bible and pray every
day, morning and night, no matter how busy, or exhausted I am. It is not a
waste of time by just kneeling down and having a silent
moment with God. It is the first step
that I can take to love Him and to trust Him. God knows everything we need,
such as rest, food, love, understanding, etc., so “…seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will
be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
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