There were several times I changed my blog name. I couldn't remember exactly what the previous names were. I only know that the name somehow reflects my purpose of this blog. I want it to be where I can reflect to myself that I may learn from my own experiences, besides to keep memories.
But why "a life of a vapor"? Because I am just a tiny human being, with very little capabilities, and only knowing how to survive each day, with no power to control tomorrow. Tho many said to me that one's future is in his/her own hand, but I believe there is "a greater hand" that controls me. For everything I have, such as these hands, are just merely gracious gifts given to me. And one day will all be taken back to the ultimate Creator.
So what is the purpose of my life? What do I want in this life? I honestly don't know. I certainly had thought of being successful in every single aspect of life, happy, making my parents proud of me, and not forgetting to be rich like so and so, with all the fame and glory. All these selfish desires and evil passions you can name, are in me, which certainly have driven me far, far away from the Truth. Until one day when I felt so hopeless, for all things were quite the opposite of my dreams. I lost my job that I was so proud of, and could not find any other similarly one. My bank account was left with only $1.66. I had no boyfriend. On top of that, my whole family was being "given" a lesson of "love". I felt like a total failure. I then started to look for any kind of job, including janitor. And I found a job at a small fast food restaurant.... cleaning garbage can. I deeply thank God, it was better than I was hoping for. I began to see that work is actually about serving others, not to be served... and that to love is to give up ourselves for others. Yes, I am that slow to understand these.
At this point, I started to realize that life is more than what I had ever thought, tho it is just a vapor.
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14)
1 comments:
Deep and meaningful nad, love what u write here 👍
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