Sinning Against God

Today during the worship time at CCCNY, I somehow could not concentrate to listen to the whole sermon, since my mind was wandering off about half of the time for several reasons. And one of them was when I heard a cell phone ringing during the sermon, and then it was accidentally put on speaker for about 3 seconds, when the lady tried to answer it. My eyes reflexively got drifted to where the voice was from, thinking "Who is that? Didn't she know that she's in a church?" One second later, I turned my head back, trying to bring my focus back to the preacher’s message. But again, this time I got caught by the sight of someone who's sitting in front of me. She kept staring at the cell phone lady. At this moment, I was grumbling again at her in my heart, "Why do you keep staring at her? Like you have never made a mistake." However, shortly after, I was being questioned in my heart as well, "Why do you keep on judging others?"

What shall I conclude then? Am I any better than the other two women?

Let's think about it thoroughly, who in this situation is better than the others. Looking at it from one point of view, I think I am quite alright here, even though I do make mistakes too sometimes. First of all, I always put my cell phone on silent before walking into a church, and never answer a call during a sermon. Secondly, I didn't give a hatred look when I looked at the cell phone lady. So, I would say I was pretty considerate and forgiving. However, based on my first reactions to both of the women, it was not an act of forgiveness, especially to the second woman. I was judging her based on my own "goodness". Jesus has taught, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2) But does it mean that we are not allowed to judge at all? How could that be possible? For example, when I am buying something, first thing I do is comparing one to the others; then I take whichever I think is best. Here is judgment taking place. It is the same way with choosing friends. As Psalm 1:1 says "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers." So we do have to judge who is wicked, sinners, or mockers. The problem now is how we make the right judgment in every situation.

 Jesus said in John 8:16, "But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me." So, the only way to make correct judgment is if we stand clearly with God. It is right for the woman in front of me to stare at the cell phone lady the way she did, as she knew a careless mistake, such as forgetting to turn off the cell phone, was not only disturbing others, but on top of that, it was completely disrespectful towards God. It shows that she wasn't serious about being in a church, in the house of God. Everyone should revere God more than anything else, as He is the King of kings. Imagining if we are before a king in a serious meeting, which at the end the King will proclaim His decision that whoever pleases Him will stay alive, and those whom He condemns will receive death penalty. There is no second chance. We all would certainly behave very differently than how we usually do. We would do everything and anything to please the King, so that He would let us live. However, if in the middle of the meeting when the King is talking, and all of a sudden our phone rings, then we could probably guess what we would deserve later at the end.

Moreover, when I reflect again about my initial thought towards those two women, I realized that my judgment was not reverent to God, for I seek to please myself, instead of Him. It is my pride, jealousy, and possibly hatred, which led me to self-righteousness. If all three of us were in the judgment room, I would have certainly deserved no more than what the cell phone lady deserved, for my crime which was unknown to men, was committed exclusively against God. It was not about forgiving others by being considerate. In this circumstance, I was guilty with my thoughts to take God’s place in deciding who should or shouldn’t be forgiven. All in all, I shouldn’t have let my surrounding take away my heart and mind during the worship service in the first place, and with a humble heart shall I enter His presence.


Against you, you only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. (Psalm 51:4)