What is Christmas? Nobody denies that Christmas is a Christian religious holiday in celebrating the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. However, nowadays, I found that people celebrate the coming of Santa more than Jesus on Christmas. Also, in this liberal modern view, "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Christmas" seems more acceptable than "Merry Christmas". Where is this all going to lead us in the future?
"Therefore keep watch because you don't know when the owner of the house will come back - whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows or at dawn" (Mark 13:35)
Paying Other's Debts
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
After finishing a Sunday school one day, many children were still in the room, each was playing their own games / crafts. Some of them just left without cleaning up their own mess. Knowing that the room would be used for a meeting soon, I asked the children who were still there to clean up. And one of them grumbled, and said to me, "I wasn't the one making that mess!" And I just replied to him, "We should help each other. So, let's clean it together." Easy for me to say at that moment, for I was not in his shoes. Since then, I kept on thinking of what I did / said to that child. It was clearly not fair for him. But it seems like the only choice I got, since I did not know exactly who else were there playing before.
If I knew whose mess it was, would I look for the child and ask him/her to come and clean? I might, but what if the child already left? Should I just clean it myself? Though it was only papers, crayons, cards, and other things that could easily be done by myself in 5 minutes. But, as a teacher, I felt I need to teach them some responsibilities, such us cleaning and helping others, which the child turned out to be unhappy about.
Later on, I had a similar situation at work. In my workplace, we share almost everything, such as tables, computers, all of the office tools, such as scissors, markers, etc, and not to mention we must share tasks, which lots of them are not clearly divided, since there are many cases that need immediate actions. And often time when that case happens, it can't wait for the person in charge to do it, and someone must do it immediately. I usually follow the Nike trademark - JUST DO IT - no matter how much tasks I already have in hand. Though, if I look at others, I would be very reluctant, and do it involuntarily. I found that many of them just like to do whatever they need at that moment, and left it wherever they want. If it's about leaving their drinks, papers, bins, and other stuff all over the place, I can't blame it all on them, for I do those things too some times, and forgot to place them back in where they belong. And others had to clean up what I left off. However, many days I grumbled to myself, not knowing what to do. In that kind of situation, I remember that boy at my church, and how he must have felt.
In some cases, others are probably really wrong. Yet, what I do is merely focusing on their wrongs, and thinking of my own rights. This wouldn't solve the problem even if I keep on doing the right thing, by doing extra works that others supposed to do. I found this just add into my self-righteousness, and makes me feel even more miserable. But if I stop doing what I have been doing, and "take it easy" as others do, I am just being ignorant, and not only I wrong myself, but also others, e.g. the patients who can't do much but solely depend on people like me, to work together with other staff to help them get better.
Just now, as I read again a passage in C.S.Lewis book, Mere Christianity, chapter 4, The Perfect Penitent, it reminds me to the fact that "Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins...The one most people have heard is... the one about our being let off because Christ has volunteered to bear a punishment instead of us. Now on the face of it that is a very silly theory. If God was prepared to let us off, why on earth did He not do so? And what possible point could there be in punishing an innocent person instead? ... it is a matter of common experience that, when one person has got himself into a hole, the trouble of getting him out usually falls on a kind friend...."
Lord, please keep my eyes upon You, You alone, whenever I face a hard time like this, for Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
If I knew whose mess it was, would I look for the child and ask him/her to come and clean? I might, but what if the child already left? Should I just clean it myself? Though it was only papers, crayons, cards, and other things that could easily be done by myself in 5 minutes. But, as a teacher, I felt I need to teach them some responsibilities, such us cleaning and helping others, which the child turned out to be unhappy about.
Later on, I had a similar situation at work. In my workplace, we share almost everything, such as tables, computers, all of the office tools, such as scissors, markers, etc, and not to mention we must share tasks, which lots of them are not clearly divided, since there are many cases that need immediate actions. And often time when that case happens, it can't wait for the person in charge to do it, and someone must do it immediately. I usually follow the Nike trademark - JUST DO IT - no matter how much tasks I already have in hand. Though, if I look at others, I would be very reluctant, and do it involuntarily. I found that many of them just like to do whatever they need at that moment, and left it wherever they want. If it's about leaving their drinks, papers, bins, and other stuff all over the place, I can't blame it all on them, for I do those things too some times, and forgot to place them back in where they belong. And others had to clean up what I left off. However, many days I grumbled to myself, not knowing what to do. In that kind of situation, I remember that boy at my church, and how he must have felt.
In some cases, others are probably really wrong. Yet, what I do is merely focusing on their wrongs, and thinking of my own rights. This wouldn't solve the problem even if I keep on doing the right thing, by doing extra works that others supposed to do. I found this just add into my self-righteousness, and makes me feel even more miserable. But if I stop doing what I have been doing, and "take it easy" as others do, I am just being ignorant, and not only I wrong myself, but also others, e.g. the patients who can't do much but solely depend on people like me, to work together with other staff to help them get better.
Just now, as I read again a passage in C.S.Lewis book, Mere Christianity, chapter 4, The Perfect Penitent, it reminds me to the fact that "Christ was killed for us, that His death has washed out our sins...The one most people have heard is... the one about our being let off because Christ has volunteered to bear a punishment instead of us. Now on the face of it that is a very silly theory. If God was prepared to let us off, why on earth did He not do so? And what possible point could there be in punishing an innocent person instead? ... it is a matter of common experience that, when one person has got himself into a hole, the trouble of getting him out usually falls on a kind friend...."
Lord, please keep my eyes upon You, You alone, whenever I face a hard time like this, for Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
When You Have Nothing To Say...
Monday, December 8, 2014
Dear Diary,
There were many times I had wanted to write something, to share with you here. However, it only went half way, unfinished, and stored in the draft folder. Do you have anyone else who also has unfinished overdue writings in their drafts? Yet, I don't feel like deleting them - who knows that one day I would touch any of them again and finish it, for it does bother me seeing things are only half-way done. One of the reasons is I didn't know the solution to what was troubling me - and still don't know. Well, it's true that most of the time I write here is to pour out my heart, especially during my downtime.
Well, do you think I am an unhappy person because I always complain, talk about negative things of myself and others? At times, when I watch movies or read other people's blog, I found some of them are always so cheerful, can make others smile and even laugh. Even at a difficult time, they are still able to speak with hope and cherish others. Is it possible for one person to always be so upbeat like that, even without a slight of negativity found in them? If so, I really want to become that kind of person. Anyone knows the secret recipe for this??? Please, tell me.
There was a devoted Christian who posted something like, "Be positive!" or "Think positively!" or "Avoid negative people!" on her facebook awhile ago. When I read that, my first thought was that how should someone always be positive when the negative often is unavoidable? Is it by simply ignoring the bad? Isn't that just being narrow-minded?!?! And what about people who are more negative than positive, as myself, for instant? There is no way for people like me to live then, for there is no hope in it.
Furthermore, my husband once taught me the danger of the modern philosophy, which says "there is no good without the bad." Meaning that good must exist together with bad; or in other words, that God and Devil exist together at the same time, e.g. the concept of Yin Yang. But according to the Bible, God and Devil do not exist together at the same time. The Devil is actually the fallen angel. So, the good is always good. And, good and bad do not mix together. As what Jesus taught in His parable about the end of age, "Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn" - Matthew 13:30.
Going back to the original issue, how to be a person of hope?
Now, I remember this Bible verse that Apostle Paul wrote for the people in Philippi:
"Rejoice in the Lord always ... Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ... I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4
Now that Christmas is coming, may we prepare our hearts to celebrate His coming as our Savior. For He came to die for us, His creatures whom He loves.
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There were many times I had wanted to write something, to share with you here. However, it only went half way, unfinished, and stored in the draft folder. Do you have anyone else who also has unfinished overdue writings in their drafts? Yet, I don't feel like deleting them - who knows that one day I would touch any of them again and finish it, for it does bother me seeing things are only half-way done. One of the reasons is I didn't know the solution to what was troubling me - and still don't know. Well, it's true that most of the time I write here is to pour out my heart, especially during my downtime.
Well, do you think I am an unhappy person because I always complain, talk about negative things of myself and others? At times, when I watch movies or read other people's blog, I found some of them are always so cheerful, can make others smile and even laugh. Even at a difficult time, they are still able to speak with hope and cherish others. Is it possible for one person to always be so upbeat like that, even without a slight of negativity found in them? If so, I really want to become that kind of person. Anyone knows the secret recipe for this??? Please, tell me.
There was a devoted Christian who posted something like, "Be positive!" or "Think positively!" or "Avoid negative people!" on her facebook awhile ago. When I read that, my first thought was that how should someone always be positive when the negative often is unavoidable? Is it by simply ignoring the bad? Isn't that just being narrow-minded?!?! And what about people who are more negative than positive, as myself, for instant? There is no way for people like me to live then, for there is no hope in it.
Furthermore, my husband once taught me the danger of the modern philosophy, which says "there is no good without the bad." Meaning that good must exist together with bad; or in other words, that God and Devil exist together at the same time, e.g. the concept of Yin Yang. But according to the Bible, God and Devil do not exist together at the same time. The Devil is actually the fallen angel. So, the good is always good. And, good and bad do not mix together. As what Jesus taught in His parable about the end of age, "Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn" - Matthew 13:30.
Going back to the original issue, how to be a person of hope?
Now, I remember this Bible verse that Apostle Paul wrote for the people in Philippi:
"Rejoice in the Lord always ... Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ... I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4
Now that Christmas is coming, may we prepare our hearts to celebrate His coming as our Savior. For He came to die for us, His creatures whom He loves.
 |
| "Merry Christmas!" :) |
Knowing Our Own Limitation
Friday, October 10, 2014
I don't usually like calling out sick. I remembered about nine years ago when I used to work in a bank, I even made myself drive to work to just attend a staff meeting. I thought I would be fine, but my manager then asked me to go home when I was throwing up in the toilet in the middle of the meeting.
Being sick is indeed terrible, though it gives some break from the craziness of work, but it's really no fun at all. All I could do now is writing on my blog on my bed while waiting for my hubby to come home from work and school.
Hey!! Am I getting like Sheldon now? or any of those guys in the TBBT?? Geez... I think I watch too much of it already these three days.
Anyways, I think I bettertidy up a little bit now to not let my bones grow weak watching more episodes of TBBT again... LOL
However, since I started my current job, this is the second time I called out off work. I think it's because this work requires me to constantly be physically active for 8 hours straight, except during break times, unlike a regular office job I ever had before. There is no such thing as coffee time or chit-chating time for me in this job. So, here I am now, laying on my bed, coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose. (Just admit that you are not as strong as you think you are laaah!! ---*_*)
I am very bored now not able to do anything much. I get tempted to go out, but I think I really have to rest for I have to work this whole weekend.
I have been trying to entertain myself with watching movies, youtube, checking out pictures on instagram, reading some book and people's blogs (being nosey?!? :p), but nothing works to get me out of this state of boredom.
Being sick is indeed terrible, though it gives some break from the craziness of work, but it's really no fun at all. All I could do now is writing on my blog on my bed while waiting for my hubby to come home from work and school.
Hey!! Am I getting like Sheldon now? or any of those guys in the TBBT?? Geez... I think I watch too much of it already these three days.
Anyways, I think I better
All About TV Series
Thursday, October 9, 2014
I am not a heavy reader like many people that I know who could read a thousand page of book in 3-4 days. Well, back in junior high/ high school time, I loved to read novels very, very much... especially those by Marga T (Indonesian novels, btw). I could finish one novel in one day, and neglected my school works (no wonder my mom got frustrated over my reading habit.) But I don't read novels anymore. I am more interested to read about people's life stories now - the true story. This is probably one of the reasons I love reading people's blogs. ;) Also, I read very slowly, and I get tired easily. So, it took me a long time to finish a book. Other than my reading, a little of blog-writing, and of course checking out some social medias, such as facebook, instagram, I sometimes like watching some good movies or TV shows. And recently, I have been loving this new sitcom called The Big Bang Theory, which has been aired since 2007 in the US, but I just found out about a month ago!!! @_@ I guess, you can tell that I don't watch TV much..... :p
As what the title speaks for itself, this sitcom is universal scientifically based. There are five main characters in it, three genius scientists / physicists, one engineer scientist, and a waitress, who despite of their complete different backgrounds, uniqueness, and characters which bring them arguments, always stay with each other. There is somehow something that makes their togetherness very valuable in this story. Could it be the Big Bang?!?!?!
Our Whole Universe Was In A Hot Dense State,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!
"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and pangea
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!
It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will pause and start to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be heard
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!
Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how were here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy, Descartes or Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!!!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Dear Diary,
There are some occurrences recently happened in my life. One of the biggest event is that, last Sept 26, I finally took the pharm tech exam and guess what?? I passed!!!!! :D I was worried in the beginning if I couldn't pass for several reasons.
At first, it's because I hate taking exams! Yes, I don't like to be tested, but I always test others... lol..*evil smile*... - I know, I know, I gotta stop this sick habit....and I am trying everyday now... harder and harder. - I thought once I was done with my college years back then, I would totally be free from studying and no more test what-so-ever! But I was wrong... As my parents used to tell me that learning is a lifelong process. But based on the people I knew who didn't have to struggle in studying for exams, yet they became pretty successful. (Am I judging the book by its cover here? hm....) So, that thought had demotivated me from studying.
Another thing is, this profession is not what I want to do for life. Back then, I always dreamed of having a fancy job, in nice working outfits, high heels, carrying professional hand bag, earning six figure income, and once a while get to ride a limo, having a beautiful house with beautiful family...yada..yada.... $_$ But my plan is absolutely not God's plan. They are all indeed just my selfish desires and prides that God has saved me from. Though I am still struggling to get rid off those evil passions, I am quite grateful for everything I have in my life, including this job, remembering that many are not able to get a job nowadays to support themselves and their families, and millions of people out there are living in famine. I am still in the process of learning and trusting that God's plan is better than my plan. And what is actually His plan? Surely it is to glorify His name. But how? I don't know. For now, I am learning to count every blessing He has given to me, and do what shall be done, e.g. this pharm tech exam.
Moreover, two of my coworkers who recently took it somehow failed. And I didn't have much time to study either. The exam, actually, was not that hard. I think the hardest part of it really was the preparation. I forced myself to study 1-2 hours right after work, when I did not have to do grocery or go to other places. This is like one of the hardest self discipline that I had to go through for passing this exam, because I always get exhausted everyday after work. This experience makes me amazed at those people who pursue their study and work full time at the same time.
After I took the exam and got my result, I was extremely happy as if I have achieved something extraordinary. Is it really extraordinary? It is not like I was taking the pharmacy board exam to be pharmacist, which by far is surely more difficult. It's been a long time I ever felt this happiness. I admit it was not an easy exam for me. Mainly, it is because I am not someone who is good in memorizing names. I could embarrassingly ask someone for their names 3 or even 4 times to finally remember it. And I am sure you can guess what pharmacy is all about, there is no way I could escape from memorizing hundreds of things, from drug names, terms, laws, etc. The good thing is, there is also some math involved, tho not as many as I had expected.
It is definitely only by God's grace that I could have passed it.
Now that I finished with that exam which burdened me for some time, I could celebrate my second wedding anniversary with my husband freely which came only a few days later. So, we kind of celebrated both of our anniversary and me passing the exam together in a Japanese sushi buffet nearby where we live. And my husband also bought me two dozens of roses. :))
I feel like wanting to take another exam now... LOL..as I am enjoying the beautiful fall... :)
At first, it's because I hate taking exams! Yes, I don't like to be tested, but I always test others... lol..*evil smile*... - I know, I know, I gotta stop this sick habit....and I am trying everyday now... harder and harder. - I thought once I was done with my college years back then, I would totally be free from studying and no more test what-so-ever! But I was wrong... As my parents used to tell me that learning is a lifelong process. But based on the people I knew who didn't have to struggle in studying for exams, yet they became pretty successful. (Am I judging the book by its cover here? hm....) So, that thought had demotivated me from studying.
Another thing is, this profession is not what I want to do for life. Back then, I always dreamed of having a fancy job, in nice working outfits, high heels, carrying professional hand bag, earning six figure income, and once a while get to ride a limo, having a beautiful house with beautiful family...yada..yada.... $_$ But my plan is absolutely not God's plan. They are all indeed just my selfish desires and prides that God has saved me from. Though I am still struggling to get rid off those evil passions, I am quite grateful for everything I have in my life, including this job, remembering that many are not able to get a job nowadays to support themselves and their families, and millions of people out there are living in famine. I am still in the process of learning and trusting that God's plan is better than my plan. And what is actually His plan? Surely it is to glorify His name. But how? I don't know. For now, I am learning to count every blessing He has given to me, and do what shall be done, e.g. this pharm tech exam.
Moreover, two of my coworkers who recently took it somehow failed. And I didn't have much time to study either. The exam, actually, was not that hard. I think the hardest part of it really was the preparation. I forced myself to study 1-2 hours right after work, when I did not have to do grocery or go to other places. This is like one of the hardest self discipline that I had to go through for passing this exam, because I always get exhausted everyday after work. This experience makes me amazed at those people who pursue their study and work full time at the same time.
After I took the exam and got my result, I was extremely happy as if I have achieved something extraordinary. Is it really extraordinary? It is not like I was taking the pharmacy board exam to be pharmacist, which by far is surely more difficult. It's been a long time I ever felt this happiness. I admit it was not an easy exam for me. Mainly, it is because I am not someone who is good in memorizing names. I could embarrassingly ask someone for their names 3 or even 4 times to finally remember it. And I am sure you can guess what pharmacy is all about, there is no way I could escape from memorizing hundreds of things, from drug names, terms, laws, etc. The good thing is, there is also some math involved, tho not as many as I had expected.
It is definitely only by God's grace that I could have passed it.
Now that I finished with that exam which burdened me for some time, I could celebrate my second wedding anniversary with my husband freely which came only a few days later. So, we kind of celebrated both of our anniversary and me passing the exam together in a Japanese sushi buffet nearby where we live. And my husband also bought me two dozens of roses. :))
I feel like wanting to take another exam now... LOL..as I am enjoying the beautiful fall... :)
 |
| A humble celebration for our anniversary with lots of love and flowers... :) |
 |
| Fall is here!! :) |
Anger
Friday, September 12, 2014
Every time I get angry, I tend to regret afterwards. I believe
that there is always a way to handle the situation without anger. But often
anger just bursts out of me and becomes uncontrollable, which brings misery to
others and creates misunderstandings. Clearly, it is the "wrong"
anger I am constantly dealing with.
Types of Anger
According to my knowledge, there are two basic types of anger, the
"right" and the "wrong" angers. Yes, I believe there is
some situations that anger is good. However, the right anger must based on the
absolute RIGHT, love of others, and not on ourselves. Though it is still very
hardly seen by the other party. For example, the moment Christ drove the
merchants away who were selling in the temple, is proper to be done. However,
because of human's self-centered being, which blinds us to see the Absolute
Right, we often fall into the second category.
Personalities in Dealing
with Anger
Two types of personalities can relate to anger in their own ways.
Some people are more able to control, not to show it on the surface and
just try to let it go, which often referred to as easy going (nice). Others,
who are more straight forward usually tend to let it out, by confronting the
other party, which often tend to be generalized as the mean people - I believe
I am in this category >_<. Both have positive and negative
impacts that will affect our own beings. And obviously, anger does still exist
in their hearts anyways. But which one has more positive sides than the others?
In other words, which one should we do? Can one person be born with either of
these personalities, and does everyone just have to accept and go with
it? What is the right way to deal with anger?
Cause of Anger
Reasons that could make us angry, such as:
- disappointment
- lack of communication / misunderstanding
- feeling that we are right, other is wrong (self righteousness)
and others tell us that we are in the wrong because of such and such, which we
don't think is the case, and try to defense ourselves. But the other party
keeps on insisting and we, on the other hand, feel that we have to make it
right. Sounds confusing?! It is.
- lack of understanding
- lack of love
Though there could be so many reasons of anger, I think it comes
only from one particular reason that is viewed from two different angles, where
they are exactly the opposite of each other.
1. Unfairness - This is if being seen
towards the cause of anger, which could be anyone or anything.
2. The desire is not fulfilled. - This is if being seen towards
ourselves.
Both of them actually comes from one problem - human's selfishness.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may...glorify
your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
for...
"He must become greater, and I must become less." (John
3:30)
"I don't care."
Friday, August 29, 2014
That words have become very popular in this modern era. I heard so many people say it so many times. It's even become inspiration for song writers. At first, it may sound very casual, or even cool in everyday conversation. It might give a brief impression to others of a person's openhearted being. But when I think about it further, I wonder why people like to say that. It is definitely not a pleasant words to say / hear.
"I don't care." or "Who cares?" often being said when there is no solution found in the discussion / situation, and just want to avoid any problem.
We surely cannot care for every single little things that come into our lives. And there are things that we always have to prioritize. Also one person's priorities will never be the same with other's. Moreover, when two or more priorities meet from different individuals, that is the time when one priority must be chosen above others. However, this challenge often becomes so crucial that blinds us to see the bigger picture / situation for overly too focus on our own's. And more often than not, the majority prefers to avoid than to face it. They might, on the surface, agree to the RIGHT one, and take it with a grumbling heart, which leads to self-righteousness, or a complete "don't care". But very few are willing to carry it on with the joy of liberty.
It is usually said by those who like to have the last words in the conversation.
Pride is the root of the problem in this situation. However, nowadays, people are really proud of their prides, and even willing to do anything to protect them. It could be the jobs, children, even other's approvals / "love", etc.
It shows the person is actually being judgmental, which of course not in the positive way.
"I don't care." in this situation is very similar with the saying "Don't judge or you will be judged." or "Only God can judge.", which lead people just tend to live to achieve what is so called "world peace". Peace is indeed a beautiful thing that everyone wants to have. However, we often don't understand, and just live in ignorance, assuming that by this everyone would be as happy. Basically, it is like "you don't bother me, I don't bother you." kind of principle. But is there really anyone who can live that way? Is that self-happiness really achievable?
Deep inside their hearts, they actually do care.
I truly hate those words. It shows selfishness, pride, fake, hatred. Yet, it is impossible to avoid hearing it in everyday life. It has become so casual for people to say it. How then should I react whenever it is spoken to my ear? It sounds very harsh and hurtful. Yet, very often I get tongue-tied when someone says those words to me.
"I don't care." or "Who cares?" often being said when there is no solution found in the discussion / situation, and just want to avoid any problem.
We surely cannot care for every single little things that come into our lives. And there are things that we always have to prioritize. Also one person's priorities will never be the same with other's. Moreover, when two or more priorities meet from different individuals, that is the time when one priority must be chosen above others. However, this challenge often becomes so crucial that blinds us to see the bigger picture / situation for overly too focus on our own's. And more often than not, the majority prefers to avoid than to face it. They might, on the surface, agree to the RIGHT one, and take it with a grumbling heart, which leads to self-righteousness, or a complete "don't care". But very few are willing to carry it on with the joy of liberty.
It is usually said by those who like to have the last words in the conversation.
Pride is the root of the problem in this situation. However, nowadays, people are really proud of their prides, and even willing to do anything to protect them. It could be the jobs, children, even other's approvals / "love", etc.
It shows the person is actually being judgmental, which of course not in the positive way.
"I don't care." in this situation is very similar with the saying "Don't judge or you will be judged." or "Only God can judge.", which lead people just tend to live to achieve what is so called "world peace". Peace is indeed a beautiful thing that everyone wants to have. However, we often don't understand, and just live in ignorance, assuming that by this everyone would be as happy. Basically, it is like "you don't bother me, I don't bother you." kind of principle. But is there really anyone who can live that way? Is that self-happiness really achievable?
Deep inside their hearts, they actually do care.
*Inspired by Toniann Palumbo
Bear Mountain Trip
Thursday, August 14, 2014
A couple of days ago, for hubby's birthday, we finally got to go to Bear Mountain to hike. Our original plan wasn't to hike though. We were just going to drive to the top of the mountain to see the scenery. However, the road to the tower was closed (Perkins Memorial dr.) due to the weather. So, while my husband was trying to look for an alternative through his cell phone, I decided to follow a car in front of me which happened to stop when seeing the road was closed, and then drove away further down. I was hoping there would be another road to go up there. But after another 5 mins drive, we didn't find anything but the huge parking lot for people who wants to hike (parking fee : $8).
That day was very cloudy, with 50% chance of rain after 2pm. We got there around 11am. We thought to just go home (or just go to the mall nearby... mall again... mall again... :p) once we saw the road was closed, and come back another day. My thought that made me just want to go home were:
1. No plan for hiking
2. Weather didn't seem to be cooperating. It looked like it would be pouring at anytime.
3. According to the lady who works there, it would take 3 to 4 hours round trip to hike to the top.
4. I was not into hiking at all (main reason ... *grin*)
However, after driving in and out of the parking lot area several times, and with further consideration, we decided to take the chance to hike despite of the possibility of getting soaked (and without preparing any spare clothes... I guess we could just easily buy new ones in the mall if we really need it later). Main reason was that I would like to make my husband especially happy that day. And I know he loves to hike!! After all, we just wanted to enjoy the nature, weather or not it rains, it shouldn't make any differences.
So, here we go. After grabbing some snacks and water, we snapped some pictures, and started our journey. It was my second time hiking after my first in Canada, last year.
The hiking was not difficult at all, mostly steps. So it really trains our knees. Our first stop, was one third of the journey, which we reached in a little bit less than 30 mins. From there, we already could see a breath-taking view of the mountains, the lake, and the Bear Mountain Bridge. We rested there for a little bit to enjoy the scenery, the snacks and had a zip of water we brought. A big mistake I made, I only brought one bottle of water to hike, where I had 2 more in the car. My husband always refused to drink whenever I offered him. He kept on saying that he wasn't thirsty at all, and could drink later when we get back down. I think he's just afraid I wouldn't have enough to drink until we come back, and restrained himself from drinking. (*_*")
After another 30 mins hike, we reached almost the top of the mountain. However, suddenly the cloud was turning very dark, so I asked my husband we could just go back down, though he insisted that we only had around 5 more mins to reach the tower. There were 2 roads that we passed through in the middle, where we took some more pictures and rested.
Once we are back down, my husband brought me to the lake, as he first just wanted to sit by the water. However, since there was a boat rental boot, we rented one of the row boats instead of the peddling one. We rowed for about 45 mins, which they charged only for 30 mins, presumably for the weather condition. There were short rains a couple of times while we were on the boat.
The boat rental was $5/person for 30 mins or $8/person for 1 hour, plus $20 deposit to be returned when we are back.
I was extremely happy that we finally hiked and even rowed a boat on the lake, in spite of the rain. Though I was not into hiking, but the time we had together at that moment was one of the happiest I will aa)lways cherish. Indeed, "it is through giving that we are receiving" (Mother Teresa).
Happy Birthday, Dear! Wish you millions and millions of happiness throughout your life. :))
That day was very cloudy, with 50% chance of rain after 2pm. We got there around 11am. We thought to just go home (or just go to the mall nearby... mall again... mall again... :p) once we saw the road was closed, and come back another day. My thought that made me just want to go home were:
1. No plan for hiking
2. Weather didn't seem to be cooperating. It looked like it would be pouring at anytime.
3. According to the lady who works there, it would take 3 to 4 hours round trip to hike to the top.
4. I was not into hiking at all (main reason ... *grin*)
However, after driving in and out of the parking lot area several times, and with further consideration, we decided to take the chance to hike despite of the possibility of getting soaked (and without preparing any spare clothes... I guess we could just easily buy new ones in the mall if we really need it later). Main reason was that I would like to make my husband especially happy that day. And I know he loves to hike!! After all, we just wanted to enjoy the nature, weather or not it rains, it shouldn't make any differences.
So, here we go. After grabbing some snacks and water, we snapped some pictures, and started our journey. It was my second time hiking after my first in Canada, last year.
.jpeg) |
| The start of Bear Mountain journey |
 |
| The view after one third of the journey |
After another 30 mins hike, we reached almost the top of the mountain. However, suddenly the cloud was turning very dark, so I asked my husband we could just go back down, though he insisted that we only had around 5 more mins to reach the tower. There were 2 roads that we passed through in the middle, where we took some more pictures and rested.
%2B-%2BCopy.jpeg) |
| After 1/3 and 4/5 of the journey |
The boat rental was $5/person for 30 mins or $8/person for 1 hour, plus $20 deposit to be returned when we are back.
%2B-%2BCopy.jpeg) |
| Hello!! :) My MIL said that she could see the very happy face of my husband here. ^___^ |
Happy Birthday, Dear! Wish you millions and millions of happiness throughout your life. :))
In The Midst of Turmoil
Friday, August 8, 2014
I complained a lot. The more I complain, the worse I feel. Because the more I feel "right" and the other is "wrong", yet it didn't make the situation any better.
I came home from work, talked to my husband. I told my husband, why God didn't let me feel His Love while I prayed this morning in the middle of the problem I was facing. I felt I was like falling into a deep pit, and while I was trying to get myself out of there (by praying), I was even pushed deeper into it.
During my morning devotion, I tried to find God's face in my prayer, but I couldn't. As my husband told me, the way I am thinking at this time is, it is God who owes me something, not me who owes God. (very true and direct confrontation that I must admit and repent *_*) However, I failed, again and again. I ended my prayer with questions to God, "If You really exist, bring me to your joy in this midst of turmoil".
Later on in the day, as I was thinking about it again, I realized God has been giving me so much blessings recently... so much that I just took it all for granted....my husband who always loves me unconditionally, my families and friends out there, food and water to satisfy my physical hunger and thirst whenever wherever, the car I drive, all these great electronic devices I could enjoy... and not to forget this job itself and everything in it, which I am constantly having problems with. These are probably nothing for many other people...for almost everyone I know have what I have, even better ones. But what about to those that I do not know? (Wait, am I thinking too mellow?) It is not unrealistic, yet I rarely care for those people who are in much more in need than me :(. And just a little struggle has made me lose my senses, and ask God to get me out of the trouble with His so called "great miracle Love". What a spoiled little brat I am!!
It reminds me of back in the old days. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, my parents brought me to Bengawan Solo River. In the middle when we were walking towards the river, my father suddenly got trapped and fell into a deep pit with full of mud. I was crying as I was watching both of my parents were struggling in that critical moment. Thankfully, with the help of my mother, my father was able to get out of it safely. Later on my mother told me, that in that kind of situation, do not move! Because the more you move, the deeper you will get into the pit. This also reminds me of a Sunday sermon by my pastor, Tim Keller, that whenever we face a challenge, STAY PUT!
Lord, Heavenly Father, thank You. I was blind, but now I see. Thank you for Your forgiveness of my shortcomings. Guide me to believe fully in You, to submit to You, though I do not yet see You. Guide me to love You, Lord, to sincerely seek You, and not Your blessings, and to overcome this fear and anger...
Teach me to follow Your decrees, then I will keep them to the end.
Give me understandings that I will keep Your law and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward Your statutes, and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.
Fulfill Your promise to Your servant, so that you may be feared.
Take away the disgrace I dread, for your laws are good.
How I long for your precepts. Preserve my life in Your righteousness.
I came home from work, talked to my husband. I told my husband, why God didn't let me feel His Love while I prayed this morning in the middle of the problem I was facing. I felt I was like falling into a deep pit, and while I was trying to get myself out of there (by praying), I was even pushed deeper into it.
During my morning devotion, I tried to find God's face in my prayer, but I couldn't. As my husband told me, the way I am thinking at this time is, it is God who owes me something, not me who owes God. (very true and direct confrontation that I must admit and repent *_*) However, I failed, again and again. I ended my prayer with questions to God, "If You really exist, bring me to your joy in this midst of turmoil".
Later on in the day, as I was thinking about it again, I realized God has been giving me so much blessings recently... so much that I just took it all for granted....my husband who always loves me unconditionally, my families and friends out there, food and water to satisfy my physical hunger and thirst whenever wherever, the car I drive, all these great electronic devices I could enjoy... and not to forget this job itself and everything in it, which I am constantly having problems with. These are probably nothing for many other people...for almost everyone I know have what I have, even better ones. But what about to those that I do not know? (Wait, am I thinking too mellow?) It is not unrealistic, yet I rarely care for those people who are in much more in need than me :(. And just a little struggle has made me lose my senses, and ask God to get me out of the trouble with His so called "great miracle Love". What a spoiled little brat I am!!
It reminds me of back in the old days. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, my parents brought me to Bengawan Solo River. In the middle when we were walking towards the river, my father suddenly got trapped and fell into a deep pit with full of mud. I was crying as I was watching both of my parents were struggling in that critical moment. Thankfully, with the help of my mother, my father was able to get out of it safely. Later on my mother told me, that in that kind of situation, do not move! Because the more you move, the deeper you will get into the pit. This also reminds me of a Sunday sermon by my pastor, Tim Keller, that whenever we face a challenge, STAY PUT!
Lord, Heavenly Father, thank You. I was blind, but now I see. Thank you for Your forgiveness of my shortcomings. Guide me to believe fully in You, to submit to You, though I do not yet see You. Guide me to love You, Lord, to sincerely seek You, and not Your blessings, and to overcome this fear and anger...
Teach me to follow Your decrees, then I will keep them to the end.
Give me understandings that I will keep Your law and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward Your statutes, and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.
Fulfill Your promise to Your servant, so that you may be feared.
Take away the disgrace I dread, for your laws are good.
How I long for your precepts. Preserve my life in Your righteousness.
(Psalms 119 : 33-40, NIV)
Weekend Getaway
Saturday, August 2, 2014
My husband and I are rarely to have the same days off, even on weekends. So when we have the same weekend off, I get excited to use the opportunity to spend time together with him doing something different. Our plan was to go somewhere where we both could enjoy and relax. Our choices that came across our mind were either going to a beach, hiking at Bear Mountain, walking on Brooklyn Bridge or going to a theater. We tried to think about it since the beginning of the week. Besides I really want to enjoy this summer after the frigid winter at the beginning of this year.
So, my husband started to look into some places for our weekend getaway. For the beach, we wanted to go to Montauk. However it would be about one and a half hour drive and we were not sure if we could wake up early enough to go and spend some time there before sun goes down, as I was thinking that I needed to prepare food and all the beach necessities, which prolly not that necessary to think too much about. So,Montauk beach.
Secondly, hiking was a bit problem for me too. My work requires me to run around all the time for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. So, I was looking for somewhere I could sit and stretch my legs. So, I told my husband to go there some other day.Bear Mountain hiking.
Brooklyn Bridge.
Teather.
So what now? I just realized it as I am writing this diary that I am such a difficult wife. It was always me to approve or disapprove where to go or what to do. I should learn to enjoy this life more, anywhere, anytime.
Anyhow, after my husband searching for places nearby that we had not yet gone, he then found that there was a new mall opened on Lower East Side, by the West Side Highway, where they also had a very beautiful food court with view of the Hudson River and many varieties of food. It is called Brookfield Place. So, as someone who loves to shop and eat, I immediately say 'lets's go' when my husband mentioned about it ;p
However, when we got there, we found out that the mall wasn't yet opened. It was only the food court that is currently accessible...(good enough....at least I got to eat.. :)) and I also like it even better as it wasn't that crowded yet. It is really a great place to chill out, in-door and out-door. The entrance lounge has tropical theme design with huge palm trees, which I adore. And according to the website, I think they will build an ice skating rink right outside of the entry way. What a combination of winter and summer! The food price was pretty affordable, as we observed. At that time, we only got a chance to try a delicious fancy cupcake from one of the vendors, the Sprinkles. But I would definitely love to check it out again once the stores are opened.
So, my husband started to look into some places for our weekend getaway. For the beach, we wanted to go to Montauk. However it would be about one and a half hour drive and we were not sure if we could wake up early enough to go and spend some time there before sun goes down, as I was thinking that I needed to prepare food and all the beach necessities, which prolly not that necessary to think too much about. So,
Secondly, hiking was a bit problem for me too. My work requires me to run around all the time for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. So, I was looking for somewhere I could sit and stretch my legs. So, I told my husband to go there some other day.
So what now? I just realized it as I am writing this diary that I am such a difficult wife. It was always me to approve or disapprove where to go or what to do. I should learn to enjoy this life more, anywhere, anytime.
Anyhow, after my husband searching for places nearby that we had not yet gone, he then found that there was a new mall opened on Lower East Side, by the West Side Highway, where they also had a very beautiful food court with view of the Hudson River and many varieties of food. It is called Brookfield Place. So, as someone who loves to shop and eat, I immediately say 'lets's go' when my husband mentioned about it ;p
.jpg) |
| Brookfield Place |
 |
| Sprinkles' peanut butter cupcake |
 |
| Thank you, Dear, for bringing me here <3 comment-3--="" nbsp=""> |
Is being Christian making you feel proud?
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Christians are saved by grace (Eph 2:8-9). And God chose the weakest, foolish ones of the world as it says on 1 Cor 1:27-29 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong...the weak....the low and despised in the world..." And yet, once I was saved, I found myself somehow pride in my heart. It is different than the prides I used to have back then before I became a Christian. It is not pride of having greater things than others, or showing off some of belongings. After all, I get nothing to show off anyways. (hehe... :p) But this pride I am currently struggling with is one that tends to lead me to self-righteousness. Self righteousness brings me to anger, anger to hatred. It is just very hard to face people who claim themselves as Christians, but what they do is merely for their own benefits. Isn't Christianity all about serving others?! When I see this flaw on my fellow brother/sister, I tend to judge them strictly. However, looking into my own heart, I always think everyone is wrong, and that I am the only one who is right. #_#. Who am I in the eyes of the Lord? I am nothing but a sinful woman, full of flaws as well, just like them. But as a Christian, the Bible says that my faults have been forgiven, by the love of God, thru the blood of His own son, Jesus Christ. Why then can I not love others? Well, maybe it isn't exactly about love. Though love is the bottom issue of everything. But to trace it a bit, it is probably a lack of understanding, and forgiveness, that I am having. As Tim Keller also said, "You can't truly forgive a debt, without taking it on yourself."
I also found this in the Scripture:
"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished - he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.
Where then is boasting? It is excluded... on that of faith. For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law." (Romans 3:21-28)
FROM 2013 TO 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Today is Saturday afternoon, the 11th. As I am off from work, but not so with my husband. He already left early in the morning to work today. I have been spending my time to relax a lot today. So, I thought I would write something on my blog here to use this time I am blessed to rest. Also, it has been so long since my last post.
However, I honestly have no idea what I should write about. Is it because there is nothing interesting I should keep it here or share with others? Or is it because there are so many things that I don't really know which one to begin with? Probably somewhere in between.
I used to love writing when I was in middle school. I remember that we had to write an essay, in Indonesian, in the every final exams at the end of the semesters. When that time came, I was always so relaxed and wrote even a longer essay than we were required to, very easily, while many of my friends were complaining. However, once I got into college, I was a bit startled. It was not so bad during my ESL class. But once I got into the regular writing classes, where most of my classmates were American born, I somehow had a great difficulty in writing. However, luckily I passed the 2 writing classes anyway. I was quite happy at that moment. But nowadays, when I think of it, I want to be able to master up my writing skill again as I used to back in high school. So, should I go back to school and take some writing classes again? Oh no, I don't think I am up to it yet. Having to do the assignments once a week with a new topic, where each topic took me at least a whole day to figure out how to start. It wasn't fun at all. So, here I am, trying to improve my writing skill through blogging. :)
Since it's now already the 11th day of 2014. I would like to start this with what I have done so far in 2014. Let's start counting God's blessing.
1. I got an offer for a full time position in the hospital I have been working at on Dec. 29, 2013, which means, I will get health insurance for both my husband and myself. Aside from that, is the paid time off during holidays, 12 vacation days, and sick days. I am surely not looking forward to the last one, since no one would like to get sick. But with this grace, I am more relieved if I really, really have to stay home and rest when I need to, and not worry about anything else.
2. The weather recently has been very frigid. Ever since several days before Christmas last year, New York have already had 3 snow storms. I was so terrified on the first snow storm, as I had to drive home from work. At first, I thought it would not be that bad. However, once I hit the road, I started becoming anxious as my car wasn't easily controlled because of the slippery road. So, my husband and I, along with my brother, agree for us to get a new car. So, hopefully, we will find one soon, as I am still searching.
3. I have been thinking of what I should do this year. My husband will be going back to school for about 2 years. And besides doing my current job, what should I do for a better future? I will have to study hard for my pharmacy tech certification exam for now, and "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." (Matthew 6:34)
4, 5, 6, 7, ..... :) :) :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! :)
However, I honestly have no idea what I should write about. Is it because there is nothing interesting I should keep it here or share with others? Or is it because there are so many things that I don't really know which one to begin with? Probably somewhere in between.
I used to love writing when I was in middle school. I remember that we had to write an essay, in Indonesian, in the every final exams at the end of the semesters. When that time came, I was always so relaxed and wrote even a longer essay than we were required to, very easily, while many of my friends were complaining. However, once I got into college, I was a bit startled. It was not so bad during my ESL class. But once I got into the regular writing classes, where most of my classmates were American born, I somehow had a great difficulty in writing. However, luckily I passed the 2 writing classes anyway. I was quite happy at that moment. But nowadays, when I think of it, I want to be able to master up my writing skill again as I used to back in high school. So, should I go back to school and take some writing classes again? Oh no, I don't think I am up to it yet. Having to do the assignments once a week with a new topic, where each topic took me at least a whole day to figure out how to start. It wasn't fun at all. So, here I am, trying to improve my writing skill through blogging. :)
Since it's now already the 11th day of 2014. I would like to start this with what I have done so far in 2014. Let's start counting God's blessing.
1. I got an offer for a full time position in the hospital I have been working at on Dec. 29, 2013, which means, I will get health insurance for both my husband and myself. Aside from that, is the paid time off during holidays, 12 vacation days, and sick days. I am surely not looking forward to the last one, since no one would like to get sick. But with this grace, I am more relieved if I really, really have to stay home and rest when I need to, and not worry about anything else.
2. The weather recently has been very frigid. Ever since several days before Christmas last year, New York have already had 3 snow storms. I was so terrified on the first snow storm, as I had to drive home from work. At first, I thought it would not be that bad. However, once I hit the road, I started becoming anxious as my car wasn't easily controlled because of the slippery road. So, my husband and I, along with my brother, agree for us to get a new car. So, hopefully, we will find one soon, as I am still searching.
3. I have been thinking of what I should do this year. My husband will be going back to school for about 2 years. And besides doing my current job, what should I do for a better future? I will have to study hard for my pharmacy tech certification exam for now, and "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." (Matthew 6:34)
4, 5, 6, 7, ..... :) :) :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! :)
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