Anger

Every time I get angry, I tend to regret afterwards. I believe that there is always a way to handle the situation without anger. But often anger just bursts out of me and becomes uncontrollable, which brings misery to others and creates misunderstandings. Clearly, it is the "wrong" anger I am constantly dealing with.

Types of Anger

According to my knowledge, there are two basic types of anger, the "right" and the "wrong" angers. Yes, I believe there is some situations that anger is good. However, the right anger must based on the absolute RIGHT, love of others, and not on ourselves. Though it is still very hardly seen by the other party. For example, the moment Christ drove the merchants away who were selling in the temple, is proper to be done. However, because of human's self-centered being, which blinds us to see the Absolute Right, we often fall into the second category.

Personalities in Dealing with Anger

Two types of personalities can relate to anger in their own ways.  Some people are more able to control, not to show it on the surface and just try to let it go, which often referred to as easy going (nice). Others, who are more straight forward usually tend to let it out, by confronting the other party, which often tend to be generalized as the mean people - I believe I am in this category >_<. Both have positive and negative impacts that will affect our own beings. And obviously, anger does still exist in their hearts anyways. But which one has more positive sides than the others? In other words, which one should we do? Can one person be born with either of these personalities, and does everyone just  have to accept and go with it? What is the right way to deal with anger?

Cause of Anger

Reasons that could make us angry, such as:

- disappointment

- lack of communication / misunderstanding

- feeling that we are right, other is wrong (self righteousness) and others tell us that we are in the wrong because of such and such, which we don't think is the case, and try to defense ourselves. But the other party keeps on insisting and we, on the other hand, feel that we have to make it right. Sounds confusing?! It is.

- lack of understanding

- lack of love

Though there could be so many reasons of anger, I think it comes only from one particular reason that is viewed from two different angles, where they are exactly the opposite of each other.

1. Unfairness - This is if being seen towards the cause of anger, which could be anyone or anything. 

2. The desire is not fulfilled. - This is if being seen towards ourselves. 

Both of them actually comes from one problem - human's selfishness. 

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may...glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) 

for...

"He must become greater, and I must become less." (John 3:30)